1 00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:05,572 Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express! 2 00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:08,174 Come and watch pikeys making a mess 3 00:00:08,260 --> 00:00:11,855 of the lives they were given by 'im upstairs... 4 00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:14,898 And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 5 00:00:14,980 --> 00:00:16,095 Wicked! 6 00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:17,499 Piss off! 7 00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:21,368 What sounds on Earth could ever replace 8 00:00:21,460 --> 00:00:24,497 kids needing money or wives in your face? 9 00:00:24,580 --> 00:00:26,935 Cos this, people reckon - me included - 10 00:00:27,020 --> 00:00:29,488 is why pubs and drugs 11 00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:31,172 were kindly invented... 12 00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:33,774 To calm us all down and stop us going mental. 13 00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:38,570 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 14 00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:44,815 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes... 15 00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:46,379 You sit on our head, 16 00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:49,133 but... you pay the taxes. 17 00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:50,619 CHEERING 18 00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:53,373 Imagine Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 19 00:00:53,460 --> 00:00:56,691 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer, eh? 20 00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:58,259 Eh! 21 00:00:58,340 --> 00:01:02,094 Make poverty history. Cheaper drugs now! 22 00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:07,049 Make poverty history! Cheaper drugs now! 23 00:01:07,140 --> 00:01:08,459 CHUCKLES 24 00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:12,169 Scatter! Party! 25 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:24,489 (Lillian) 'My Brendan were a strapping lad as a youngster. 26 00:01:24,580 --> 00:01:27,458 'Arms like hams. Shapely in the leg. 27 00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:30,976 'Had a look of a young John Nettles without the hair. 28 00:01:31,060 --> 00:01:34,370 'Bergerac period, not Midsomer - no, ta. 29 00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:36,894 'Gone to seed by then. 30 00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:40,575 'Dream fella, Brendan. Knew he were t'one for me. 31 00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:43,015 'Took months to wear him down. 32 00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:45,773 'So handsome. All t'girls wanted him.' 33 00:01:48,940 --> 00:01:52,410 (Norma) Fuck off, Worzel! Do you have to do that every night? 34 00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:53,694 It's Lillian! 35 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:54,735 Lillian? 36 00:01:56,620 --> 00:01:57,575 It's really late! 37 00:01:57,660 --> 00:02:00,970 I've been clubbing, but I think there's a burst gas main. 38 00:02:01,060 --> 00:02:02,379 Smell it? 39 00:02:02,460 --> 00:02:05,099 (Lillian) 'I was so certain we were meant to be together. 40 00:02:05,180 --> 00:02:07,057 'He got bored arguing and gave in. 41 00:02:07,140 --> 00:02:11,258 'And we were largely happy - apart from the affairs and the drinking.' 42 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,854 SIRENS WAIL 43 00:02:13,940 --> 00:02:14,577 What the fuck?! 44 00:02:14,660 --> 00:02:17,094 'There's only room for one great love in my life.' 45 00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,250 Clear the area! Wake everyone! 46 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,649 '... but there's plenty of time for a few small ones. 47 00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:23,890 'I bloody hope so, anyway.' 48 00:02:23,980 --> 00:02:24,651 Fire brigade! 49 00:02:24,740 --> 00:02:26,412 'I really miss me cock.' 50 00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:27,728 KNOCK ON DOOR 51 00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:32,177 Fire brigade! Fire brigade! Fire brigade! 52 00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:35,777 Clot on the sofa's trying to light a fag, boss! 53 00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:38,215 Fire brigade! Stand away! 54 00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:40,894 Hang on... hang on... Oh! 55 00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:42,095 Coming through! 56 00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:45,893 Fucking hell! 57 00:02:49,380 --> 00:02:52,053 I think we've found our burst main. 58 00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:02,889 Ribbons! Blood! MY blood! 59 00:03:02,980 --> 00:03:03,776 Are you all right, Dad? 60 00:03:03,860 --> 00:03:06,579 Get a bucket! I don't want to cause a mess 61 00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:08,298 while I'm bleeding to fucking death! 62 00:03:08,380 --> 00:03:11,338 Ooooh, chin up, love! Baby doesn't like blood. 63 00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:14,651 Oh, fucking hell, it's Bo Selecta - I'm having a bad dream! 64 00:03:14,740 --> 00:03:16,332 Should have let you suffocate! 65 00:03:16,420 --> 00:03:17,057 Aaagh! 66 00:03:17,140 --> 00:03:19,370 - John - upstairs - open some windows. 67 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,176 - Yes, Boss. 68 00:03:20,260 --> 00:03:21,249 What's with the torsos? 69 00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:22,819 Doing a hen night. 70 00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:24,128 Do you know how much we're paid? 71 00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:25,494 'Kin helll He's bleating - 72 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:28,140 I'm the one looking at the stairway to heaven here! 73 00:03:28,220 --> 00:03:29,335 - We'll drop him at the hospital. 74 00:03:29,420 --> 00:03:33,811 Oh, what - all the ambulances mobile DJs, are they, this evening? 75 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,492 Come on. Anyone going with him? 76 00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:38,811 Are you mad? They know him down at casualty better than we do! 77 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:42,859 Oh cheers, progeny! Beloved spawn... 78 00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:45,693 So-called... loved one! 79 00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:49,939 Right, I'm off to my pit. 80 00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:53,410 Mum's got Katie to give me a full night for a change. 81 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:57,573 I won't be able to kip, now. All those firemen! 82 00:03:57,660 --> 00:03:59,890 Yeah! Cliche, but I'd do 'em! 83 00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:01,254 I'll have one of them. 84 00:04:01,340 --> 00:04:03,774 HORN BLARES 85 00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:06,977 ENGINE SOUNDS 86 00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:09,972 Pissed off without me, again. 87 00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:12,368 Does that happen a lot? 88 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:13,734 Arseholes! 89 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:14,889 - Brew? 90 00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:15,935 Have you got anything stronger? 91 00:04:16,020 --> 00:04:17,692 With my dad in the house? No chance! 92 00:04:17,780 --> 00:04:22,251 Thought you'd be all "Don't drink on duty, Ma'am - babies to save". 93 00:04:22,340 --> 00:04:26,811 I'm not on duty. We were passing, thought we'd check it out, save the boys a trip. 94 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,777 You the couple of the house? 95 00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:30,976 Not even close. 96 00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:32,254 I'm single. 97 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,535 What, brother and sister? 98 00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:37,657 I don't know why I even bother asking questions about families. They're all so... 99 00:04:37,740 --> 00:04:38,695 Fucked. 100 00:04:38,780 --> 00:04:40,008 Yeah. 101 00:04:42,340 --> 00:04:43,534 HORN BLARES 102 00:04:43,620 --> 00:04:46,088 Ah! They care, after all! 103 00:04:46,180 --> 00:04:49,490 You should have a smoke alarm, with that old piss-pot living here. 104 00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,491 No offence. 105 00:04:51,580 --> 00:04:52,808 None taken. 106 00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:54,618 - Want to come back and fit one for us? 107 00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:57,453 Yeah - come and do that. 108 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:00,489 Why not? 109 00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:01,695 Tomorrow? 110 00:05:04,140 --> 00:05:06,415 OK. Sean. 111 00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:07,649 Mandy. 112 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:09,014 Lan. 113 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,692 All right? 114 00:05:17,260 --> 00:05:19,137 Jesus, I'm so obvious! 115 00:05:19,220 --> 00:05:20,175 Just a bit! 116 00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:21,215 Fit or what? 117 00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:23,177 He won't go for you, Mand. 118 00:05:23,260 --> 00:05:24,488 There's a vote of confidence! 119 00:05:24,580 --> 00:05:25,854 No, he bats for us. 120 00:05:25,940 --> 00:05:28,454 Piss off! Him? No way. 121 00:05:28,540 --> 00:05:30,576 Tenner says I give him one before you do. 122 00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:33,891 You think everyone's gay. Can't you be different on your own? 123 00:05:33,980 --> 00:05:35,333 Money, and mouth! 124 00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:39,459 Bollocks! Tenner. 125 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:42,293 You'd better not win! I'm gagging for it. 126 00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:53,096 One here, one upstairs. 127 00:05:53,180 --> 00:05:56,616 All lethal, flammable boozehounds covered! 128 00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,213 I've got cake. 129 00:05:58,300 --> 00:06:01,736 Ta. Er... I've got a shift. 130 00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:06,096 Listen... Fancy a drink? 131 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:11,090 Shit! 132 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:14,578 Bastard! 133 00:06:14,660 --> 00:06:15,854 He's at work. 134 00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:18,408 The Jockey. 135 00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:30,733 Number of kids you've had, you could pop 'em without touching the sides. 136 00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:32,617 I mean, why bother? 137 00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:36,010 Because this little baba is going to be done proper, 138 00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:38,091 and I want his daddy there! 139 00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:42,617 He'll only nick all the drugs or start a ruck or summat! 140 00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:47,455 I could be your birthing partner. Ask me! 141 00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:48,973 No. Frank is doing it, 142 00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:52,575 and he's coming to antenata! To learn how to do it right. 143 00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:59,689 Oh, my God! Stacy-Ann? 144 00:06:59,740 --> 00:07:02,334 THE Stacy-Ann? 145 00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:04,650 She's a cabbage! You can do well better! 146 00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:06,332 She's all right when you get to know her. 147 00:07:06,420 --> 00:07:09,457 I DO know her! Suet dumpling. 148 00:07:09,540 --> 00:07:11,371 Aidy Simpson said I should give her a go. 149 00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:12,449 That dick? 150 00:07:12,540 --> 00:07:18,376 Trust me, man, she's well worth it. Best ever! Ever! Hidden depths. 151 00:07:18,460 --> 00:07:21,133 He gets anyone he wants and she's his best ever. 152 00:07:21,220 --> 00:07:23,051 As long as she doesn't get smitten. 153 00:07:23,140 --> 00:07:24,289 Smitten? 154 00:07:24,380 --> 00:07:29,454 When she says "smitten", you gotta bail. Got me? Smitten - bail. 155 00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:33,328 That is a pathetic reason to go out with someone. "My mate told me tol" 156 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:34,773 Why do you care? 157 00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:38,170 (Frank) Trapped in a circle on the... 158 00:07:38,260 --> 00:07:38,817 That's Dad! 159 00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:40,413 What are you doing here? 160 00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:44,891 Oh - abandoned, tossed out - NHS rubbish! 161 00:07:44,980 --> 00:07:48,211 No sharps, medical waste... 162 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:51,497 Bevan'd be turning in his grave! Fucking bollocks! 163 00:07:51,580 --> 00:07:55,539 Same old, same old - trapping in a fucking circle! 164 00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:56,575 Mum's looking for you. 165 00:07:56,660 --> 00:07:59,049 A circle of shite. 166 00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:05,734 Tits first. 167 00:08:05,820 --> 00:08:06,809 LAUGHTER 168 00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:07,935 Mum and Dad! 169 00:08:10,420 --> 00:08:13,890 What's this? Shagging our lass? In me own gaff? 170 00:08:13,980 --> 00:08:16,858 I bet he's got the working equipment! Unlike some! 171 00:08:16,940 --> 00:08:20,535 Piss off! Last time I saw to you, you couldn't walk for a week! 172 00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:21,575 That were a shock! 173 00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:25,096 All right, mate? It's Carl, isn't it? Don't mind me and the missus, mate. 174 00:08:25,180 --> 00:08:28,331 If she could give a decent hum job, she'd be a diamond. 175 00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,092 Stay for a bit of tea, Carl? 176 00:08:30,180 --> 00:08:31,010 You don't have to. 177 00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,250 Shut up, you! We like to get to know your friends. 178 00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:35,535 What do you say, Carly? Pork chops and minty tats? 179 00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:36,655 Ta. 180 00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:38,458 You can call me Teresa, love. 181 00:08:38,540 --> 00:08:40,929 The pig's Dave. 182 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,456 Look at the arse on that, eh? Not bad for an old bird. 183 00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:52,653 Bag of pear drops and a penny chew, please, Mister. 184 00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,097 I need a piss. 185 00:08:58,180 --> 00:09:03,095 Beer pourer - barman. Toucher of old men's cocks - rent boy. 186 00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:04,693 Do you see the difference? 187 00:09:04,780 --> 00:09:06,338 Seems to know a lot about it. 188 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,810 While we're on old people, shouldn't we ban that? 189 00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:15,020 That's her new fella! Jeff works in finance. 190 00:09:17,540 --> 00:09:21,169 Hiya, Fireman Sam! Didn't recognise you with your kecks on! 191 00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:23,979 Well, same problem for me, gas victim! 192 00:09:24,060 --> 00:09:26,415 So... coincidence? 193 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:29,572 No, I've just been fitting your smoke alarm and Mandy said, erm... 194 00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:31,696 I had a bet on with her. 195 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,736 Let me guess... 196 00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:37,373 Buy us a pint with your winnings! 197 00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:40,054 - I get off in ten minutes. - Yeah? 198 00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:42,768 I've got a room. 199 00:09:42,860 --> 00:09:45,135 You a bit of a slag, Ian? 200 00:09:45,220 --> 00:09:47,734 Too right! You a bit of a prude, Sean? 201 00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:48,775 Only to slags. 202 00:09:48,860 --> 00:09:55,652 So... what? Six months courting, meet the parents, find out my intentions? 203 00:09:55,740 --> 00:09:58,698 Summat like that! Get us a pint. 204 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,579 Driving us, then? 205 00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:03,218 Where to? 206 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:04,619 Trampolining. I said. 207 00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:06,179 Oh... 208 00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:10,173 Right. Do you want dropping anywhere, Carl? 209 00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:11,295 Yeah, ta. 210 00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:14,133 There's a spare chop here. No need to hurry away. 211 00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:20,051 Well, you can't have it! Not with that great hanging gut! 212 00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:21,368 Right, see you later then. 213 00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:33,537 Do you know? 214 00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:36,134 I believe I've miscounted. 215 00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:37,733 There isn't another chop. 216 00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:39,014 I'll see if I can catch them up... 217 00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:42,214 Have you had your portion, Carly? 218 00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:46,250 I'm not sure I have. 219 00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:49,976 Perhaps I should suck on your bone. 220 00:10:52,540 --> 00:10:53,495 If you want. 221 00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:09,412 End of my shift. 222 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,616 I don't shag strangers. 223 00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:13,770 Why don't you try something new? 224 00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:18,168 All right. Why not? 225 00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:19,215 PAGER BEEPS 226 00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:20,528 Shit! 227 00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:21,575 What? 228 00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:23,139 Emergency pager. 229 00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:26,690 BEEPING CONTINUES 230 00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:33,290 It'll just be a kid with his head stuck in some railings. 231 00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:47,651 Who-who-whoah! Easy, tiger! 232 00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,331 Oooh! Oooh! 233 00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:19,369 Oh, yes! Oooh! Oh, yes! 234 00:12:19,460 --> 00:12:21,530 Oh! Oh, yes! 235 00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:24,737 Listen, all you have to do is be there and bring me some flowers 236 00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:27,129 or something! 237 00:12:27,220 --> 00:12:28,858 I know my limitations. 238 00:12:28,940 --> 00:12:30,976 All I am saying is just 239 00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:36,134 be there and hold my hand and say "Welcome to the world, little babyl" 240 00:12:36,220 --> 00:12:39,735 I didn't want to say, and I know you don't like me mentioning this, but... 241 00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:43,730 ...it's them little twins. 242 00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:45,299 I was there at the birth and it was 243 00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:49,214 like the fucking Battle of the Somme. I couldn't go through that again. 244 00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:53,657 Right. So you did it for her, but you won't do it for me! 245 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:57,653 Look, it's not... Ah! 246 00:12:57,740 --> 00:13:00,618 It's not just the... 247 00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:01,849 horror. 248 00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:03,817 It's the memories. 249 00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:07,256 It's all I've got left of Gordon and Delia. 250 00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:09,649 You can give me that, can't you? 251 00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:13,255 It tears my heart out every time I think of them. 252 00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:15,695 You, more than anyone, you know 253 00:13:15,780 --> 00:13:19,216 what it's like not to be with your kiddies. 254 00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:21,177 Nigel and Delia. 255 00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:24,972 It's Nigel and Delia, not Gordon! 256 00:13:25,060 --> 00:13:28,177 Piss off! How many of you are there? 257 00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:31,809 I'm bound to get the odd name wrong, aren't I? What am I, a census?! 258 00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:34,460 You are coming! 259 00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:36,575 Look, I just... 260 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,653 Fuckin' little... 261 00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:44,254 thingy in the nest, you are! Fuck you! 262 00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:47,138 If I'd fathered you, I'd tear me own balls off! 263 00:13:47,220 --> 00:13:49,575 If you'd fathered me, I'd help! 264 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,336 You should have got a chair years ago. 265 00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:59,214 Suits you never having to get off your arse. 266 00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:02,417 Abused, slashed... Why do I come in here? 267 00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,492 Because we serve beer and we haven't barred you this week. 268 00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:10,059 You've been getting some, haven't you? 269 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,209 Why d'you say that? 270 00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:13,177 I can tell. 271 00:14:13,260 --> 00:14:15,774 You're all smug-looking and shit. 272 00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:18,499 Cheers, Mickey. Glad you're so pleased for us. 273 00:14:18,580 --> 00:14:19,979 It's true, then? 274 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,175 Maybe. 275 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:22,773 Oh, sorry, mate. 276 00:14:22,860 --> 00:14:25,215 Out my fuckin' space, man! 277 00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:27,655 Touching me! What are you, some kind of fuckin' queer boy? 278 00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:30,254 - Shane! - I'm sorry I accidentally touched you. 279 00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:33,935 - It's all right. - Don't do that. 280 00:14:34,020 --> 00:14:36,136 What you gonna fucking do about? 281 00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:37,699 - Christ! - Eh! That's our kid! 282 00:14:37,780 --> 00:14:39,532 It's all right! It's all right! 283 00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:41,576 I know him! I know him! There's no need, yeah? 284 00:14:41,660 --> 00:14:44,254 There's no need, eh? It's only Shane. 285 00:14:44,340 --> 00:14:45,773 You know what he's like! 286 00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:49,215 Come on. 287 00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:01,612 He well deserved that! He's a prick and a half! 288 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,372 - I was a prick, too. - It was hot! 289 00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:06,532 I wasn't expecting you to... 290 00:15:09,540 --> 00:15:11,337 Look, we've done it your way - let's try mine. 291 00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:14,492 How about I take you away from all this? 292 00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:16,854 What? Take me where? 293 00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:19,500 Well, there's only one way to find out, isn't there? 294 00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,253 Are you coming? 295 00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:36,372 Is that where you chuck a ribbon in the air and dance about on a mat? 296 00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:39,293 Or a ball. 297 00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:40,699 What? 298 00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:42,577 Chuck a ball in the air, too. 299 00:15:44,180 --> 00:15:45,249 When? 300 00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:48,696 Rhythmic gymnastics. You were asking! 301 00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:50,771 Oh, yeah. Great. 302 00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:56,049 Ah! The lovebirds! 303 00:15:56,140 --> 00:15:59,098 Cooing and billing - nice! 304 00:15:59,180 --> 00:16:01,535 You off for physical jerks, madam? 305 00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:03,770 The exercise she does and she still thinks she's got a hymen! 306 00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:05,418 Mum! 307 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:06,535 Getting me kit. 308 00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:08,770 What a waste, when she's got this one! 309 00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:11,294 D'you remember when you were a bit of a specimen, Dave? 310 00:16:11,380 --> 00:16:13,098 This morning, weren't it? 311 00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:15,091 You wish. 312 00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,531 Drop you anywhere, Carl? 313 00:16:18,620 --> 00:16:19,814 I'm fine, thanks. 314 00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:21,333 Dad. 315 00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:32,088 Don't know anything, does he? 316 00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:33,738 Course he doesn't. 317 00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:35,014 He wouldn't care anyway. 318 00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,374 You sure? 319 00:16:36,460 --> 00:16:37,415 Of course I am. 320 00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:41,449 Trousers off! 321 00:16:53,140 --> 00:16:56,132 No... Argh! No, it's not for me, that one! 322 00:16:58,340 --> 00:17:00,615 Yes! 323 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:07,898 This is Jeff - works in finance. 324 00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:08,730 That right? 325 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,572 Don't expect to get anyone at my age, 326 00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:13,458 never mind someone wi' a proper job! 327 00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:15,019 So how did you meet? 328 00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:16,294 Slow dating. 329 00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:18,895 What's that? 330 00:17:18,980 --> 00:17:20,572 Speed dating for pensioners. 331 00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:22,218 Do you watch Corrie? 332 00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:25,253 Do you watch Corrie? 333 00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:28,772 Do you watch Corrie? 334 00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:31,330 I sometimes watch Emmerdale! 335 00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:34,776 Fuck it - that'll have to do! 336 00:17:34,860 --> 00:17:37,294 We've been inseparable ever since. 337 00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:40,770 So what exactly do you do in finance, Jeff? 338 00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:44,055 Security. 339 00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:47,212 Very responsible! 340 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,495 Pushbike squad! 341 00:17:49,580 --> 00:17:51,491 Mountain bike patrol! 342 00:17:51,580 --> 00:17:53,969 It's not a demotion - they're better for getting round the estates. 343 00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:55,732 How can we help? 344 00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:57,651 - Frank been in? - It's a day of the week, isn't it? 345 00:17:57,740 --> 00:17:59,890 - We're gunning for him. - He knows why, too! 346 00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:01,538 So where are your bikes? 347 00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:03,531 Outside. 348 00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:04,814 Outside here? 349 00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:10,937 Police are looking for you! 350 00:18:11,020 --> 00:18:12,772 What? Oh... 351 00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:17,537 This is what happens when you live life on the margins! 352 00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:20,373 Society releases its pitbulls. 353 00:18:20,460 --> 00:18:22,815 Been robbing charity boxes again, have we? 354 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:23,889 Fuck off! 355 00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:30,539 Where've you been? 356 00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:34,499 - Bridlington. Gay capital of Yorkshire! - Yeah? 357 00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:37,140 Got taken away. Hotel and everything! 358 00:18:37,220 --> 00:18:38,448 What's with the bag? 359 00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:40,815 Gonna be at The Jockey for a bit. 360 00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:45,457 What? 361 00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:48,816 You know gays are, like, famous for casual sex and that? 362 00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:50,094 Go on, surprise me! 363 00:18:50,180 --> 00:18:52,899 Is that all there is? I mean, 364 00:18:52,980 --> 00:18:55,494 you go out with someone and it's all right, but... 365 00:18:55,580 --> 00:18:59,539 you want to shag their friend and you like them, but... 366 00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:02,612 I mean, is it all right to have sex with someone that you don't 367 00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,497 even like if it's really good sex? 368 00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:07,652 And they can cook! Or does that not matter? 369 00:19:07,740 --> 00:19:11,255 Listen, are you shagging our mum? 370 00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:14,138 How d'you guess? 371 00:19:23,340 --> 00:19:27,936 Hey, we're ticking a list - sex, travel, food... 372 00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:29,248 Peanut butter's rank! 373 00:19:29,340 --> 00:19:31,649 Cheers. What's next? 374 00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:34,095 - Meeting mates? - Meeting family? 375 00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:37,331 No chance! I wouldn't inflict mine on anyone! 376 00:19:37,420 --> 00:19:39,012 Honestly! 377 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:42,775 That's stiff for someone who stayed in a hotel with someone. 378 00:19:42,860 --> 00:19:45,932 God, you really are young and naive, aren't you? 379 00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:49,899 You think that was a hotel? Barely even made it to guesthouse. 380 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,778 Why'd you take me there? Am I a cheap date? 381 00:19:52,860 --> 00:19:54,213 - No, it's gay friendly. - How? 382 00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:56,291 The woman serving there had a tache. 383 00:20:00,260 --> 00:20:02,296 Oh... Peanut butter! 384 00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:03,495 Fuckin' hell! 385 00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:04,296 Nasty! 386 00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:12,737 Gallagher! 387 00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,697 Come here! Frank! 388 00:20:17,660 --> 00:20:20,379 Frank! Can you stop? 389 00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:23,418 Frank! Come here! Gallagher! 390 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:27,330 You should be ashamed of yourself! 391 00:20:27,420 --> 00:20:31,129 Oh, spare me the fuckin' lecture! 392 00:20:31,220 --> 00:20:34,735 Hospital property, Francis! You're lucky it was us that saw the CCTV! 393 00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:38,608 Anyone else, you'd be on a charge. 394 00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:42,010 They're not superficial, you know! They hurt! 395 00:20:45,980 --> 00:20:51,930 So... You stole a wheelchair to try and get out of going to antenatal classes? 396 00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:53,214 Yes! 397 00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:56,094 Tosser! 398 00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:04,176 I don't care if Monday's blue 399 00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:07,377 Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too... 400 00:21:07,460 --> 00:21:08,495 You remember Sean, don't you? 401 00:21:08,580 --> 00:21:11,174 The Shane nutter! Yeah, we've met. 402 00:21:11,260 --> 00:21:12,170 I'm really sorry about that. 403 00:21:12,260 --> 00:21:14,694 Well, Sean's probably gonna be around for a bit, 404 00:21:14,780 --> 00:21:17,453 if he plays his cards right. 405 00:21:17,540 --> 00:21:19,212 Howdy doody! 406 00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:23,336 Yeah. You off out? 407 00:21:23,420 --> 00:21:24,409 Yeah. 408 00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:26,456 Hey, you couldn't give us a hand, could ya? 409 00:21:26,540 --> 00:21:29,008 Yeah. 410 00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:31,694 Can't we even have a family drink without you going off on one? 411 00:21:31,780 --> 00:21:34,499 It's not my fault you can't get it up any more. 412 00:21:34,580 --> 00:21:37,048 I didn't hear you complaining this morning! 413 00:21:38,740 --> 00:21:43,814 Yeah? What d'you want? I can't talk now. I'll be there. 414 00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:45,253 Look, I've got to go. 415 00:21:45,340 --> 00:21:46,568 What's up? 416 00:21:46,660 --> 00:21:49,493 Nothing. Just... 417 00:21:49,580 --> 00:21:52,413 a crisis at work. I'll see ya. 418 00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:54,411 I'm sorry. 419 00:21:58,340 --> 00:21:59,819 What's all that about? 420 00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:01,299 Dunno. 421 00:22:01,380 --> 00:22:05,373 You don't think it was "if he plays his cards right", do you? 422 00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:08,692 I'm such a dick! 423 00:22:18,780 --> 00:22:20,930 Teresa, we can't! 424 00:22:22,940 --> 00:22:25,295 Scared of showing your cock, Carl? 425 00:22:26,380 --> 00:22:27,574 Er, no! 426 00:22:27,660 --> 00:22:30,572 Bit of a bad... pint. 427 00:22:30,660 --> 00:22:32,616 You were drinking Coke! 428 00:22:32,700 --> 00:22:34,895 I'm having a shit, Dave! 429 00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:50,255 Jeez, Teresa - it's too close for me! 430 00:22:50,340 --> 00:22:52,979 I can't help meself, love. I'm smitten! 431 00:22:53,060 --> 00:22:55,654 Smitten? Bail! 432 00:22:55,740 --> 00:22:58,254 You've really touched me. 433 00:22:58,340 --> 00:23:00,376 And I don't just mean the sex. 434 00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:05,578 I hate hurting Dave. 435 00:23:05,660 --> 00:23:08,049 I hate it. 436 00:23:08,140 --> 00:23:11,018 But what can I do? 437 00:23:11,100 --> 00:23:13,773 D'you feel the same way, Carl? 438 00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:15,532 Say you do! 439 00:23:15,620 --> 00:23:18,498 Yeah. Course I do! 440 00:23:18,580 --> 00:23:21,219 This is big time now. 441 00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:24,451 But if you want to stop, you say the word. 442 00:23:24,540 --> 00:23:27,373 Can I rely on you? 443 00:23:27,460 --> 00:23:28,973 Yeah, course you can. 444 00:23:33,180 --> 00:23:35,774 ZIP OPENS 445 00:23:37,820 --> 00:23:41,654 Ian! Hey, wait up! 446 00:23:44,100 --> 00:23:45,931 Weren't sure I'd see you again. 447 00:23:46,020 --> 00:23:47,851 Why? 448 00:23:47,940 --> 00:23:49,214 Your excuse. 449 00:23:49,300 --> 00:23:51,211 Your work crisis. There wasn't one, was there? 450 00:23:51,300 --> 00:23:57,455 Hey, hey, it was a crisis. Just not work. 451 00:23:58,620 --> 00:23:59,894 It was my brother. 452 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:03,097 It was just too boring to tell you the truth. 453 00:24:03,180 --> 00:24:06,855 I thought I messed up coming across all Mr Cocky Bollocks 454 00:24:06,940 --> 00:24:08,931 in front of Jamie and Karen. 455 00:24:09,020 --> 00:24:11,056 Course you didn't. 456 00:24:11,140 --> 00:24:15,053 If you say something that pisses me off, I'll tell you. 457 00:24:15,140 --> 00:24:16,778 I promise. 458 00:24:16,860 --> 00:24:19,328 You do the same for me. 459 00:24:23,340 --> 00:24:26,537 Where you off? 460 00:24:26,620 --> 00:24:28,133 I was going home. 461 00:24:28,220 --> 00:24:29,414 Do you fancy a visitor? 462 00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:30,933 Everyone's in. 463 00:24:32,060 --> 00:24:33,095 And? 464 00:24:33,180 --> 00:24:34,818 You really want to meet the fuckers? 465 00:24:34,900 --> 00:24:36,811 Yeah! 466 00:24:39,580 --> 00:24:41,889 - Right, come on. - Right, then! 467 00:24:47,620 --> 00:24:49,850 Hiya, love. Give us a kiss. 468 00:24:49,940 --> 00:24:51,851 I can't, we're on a wages run. 469 00:24:51,940 --> 00:24:56,092 You can stop long enough to give your girlfriend a kiss. 470 00:24:56,180 --> 00:24:59,695 Oh, two seconds, Bradley. Come here! 471 00:25:02,860 --> 00:25:03,895 What?! 472 00:25:03,980 --> 00:25:04,890 Did you do this? 473 00:25:04,980 --> 00:25:05,776 No, I didn't! 474 00:25:05,860 --> 00:25:07,452 You're an inside woman. 475 00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:09,132 It's a set up! 476 00:25:09,220 --> 00:25:12,292 I didn't, Trev. Don't hate me! 477 00:25:18,620 --> 00:25:22,090 I was going to the chemist. Condom run for the girls. 478 00:25:22,180 --> 00:25:23,215 Don't tell us that! 479 00:25:23,300 --> 00:25:23,857 It's the truth! 480 00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:25,896 Let's not complicate the armed robbery 481 00:25:25,980 --> 00:25:28,938 with living off immoral earnings. You'll get 15 years. 482 00:25:29,020 --> 00:25:29,418 In prison?! 483 00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:31,730 No-one thinks Lillian was involved. 484 00:25:31,820 --> 00:25:34,493 Judas! Judas! 485 00:25:34,580 --> 00:25:36,332 Does that mean we're finished? 486 00:25:36,420 --> 00:25:38,650 Judas! 487 00:25:38,740 --> 00:25:42,096 I think he really meant it. I've been dumped. 488 00:25:48,940 --> 00:25:52,012 So, you don't care that I'm scared? 489 00:25:52,100 --> 00:25:55,888 And what about me? There's no point in us both cracking it, is there? 490 00:26:00,460 --> 00:26:03,975 Come on, we're fucking useless. We both know it. 491 00:26:10,420 --> 00:26:13,412 I know. I'll do you a swap. 492 00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:16,219 You come to the birth, 493 00:26:16,300 --> 00:26:20,896 and I will get the doctor to put in an extra stitch downstairs. 494 00:26:20,980 --> 00:26:22,777 Honeymoon fresh. 495 00:26:26,740 --> 00:26:28,571 Make it two, and you got yourself a deal. 496 00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:32,531 Tinker. 497 00:26:32,620 --> 00:26:36,215 MOBILE PHONE RINGS 498 00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:40,133 - Monica Gallagher. 499 00:26:40,220 --> 00:26:41,414 Oi! 500 00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:44,378 Just realised what you look like with those bandages on. 501 00:26:44,460 --> 00:26:47,611 Oh, surprise and delight me with your acute observation! 502 00:26:47,700 --> 00:26:48,655 The Mummy! 503 00:26:48,740 --> 00:26:51,413 LAUGHTER 504 00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:53,968 Everyone's a comedian! 505 00:27:01,380 --> 00:27:03,416 Gary Bennett's died. 506 00:27:03,500 --> 00:27:04,694 What, the impressionist? 507 00:27:04,780 --> 00:27:06,930 No, Ian's real dad. 508 00:27:08,020 --> 00:27:09,453 Oh. 509 00:27:09,540 --> 00:27:10,973 Good. 510 00:27:18,580 --> 00:27:19,535 This is Sean. 511 00:27:22,660 --> 00:27:23,615 Hello. 512 00:27:23,700 --> 00:27:24,735 All right? 513 00:27:24,820 --> 00:27:27,288 It's official then? You two an item? 514 00:27:27,380 --> 00:27:30,417 Yeah, laugh once, then get over it. 515 00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:31,979 Bastards. 516 00:27:32,060 --> 00:27:34,733 Sean, I've got some photos of Ian from when he was a baby, do you wanna see? 517 00:27:34,820 --> 00:27:37,414 If you said you were bringing a new friend round, I would have hoovered! 518 00:27:37,500 --> 00:27:38,330 Yeah, all right! 519 00:27:38,420 --> 00:27:40,297 KNOCK AT DOOR 520 00:27:40,380 --> 00:27:41,938 Do you wanna sit down, Sean? 521 00:27:42,020 --> 00:27:43,612 Ta. 522 00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:48,251 Are you Liam? I hear you've got a healthy interest in fire. 523 00:27:48,340 --> 00:27:49,295 I've grown out of that. 524 00:27:49,380 --> 00:27:53,851 Oh. All right. You won't want a ride in the engine, then? 525 00:27:53,940 --> 00:27:57,091 No, I want that. I really want that! 526 00:27:57,700 --> 00:27:58,894 For you, Carl. 527 00:27:58,980 --> 00:27:59,776 Who is it? 528 00:27:59,860 --> 00:28:01,088 Quick, mind. 529 00:28:10,420 --> 00:28:12,456 I've left him, Carl! 530 00:28:12,540 --> 00:28:15,771 I've finally left him! For real, this time. 531 00:28:17,060 --> 00:28:19,858 And I've told him everything - everything! 532 00:28:29,900 --> 00:28:32,733 I'm free, Carl. I'm free! 533 00:28:32,820 --> 00:28:36,176 This is the real Teresa. I just bombed out the house. 534 00:28:36,260 --> 00:28:37,295 What did Dave say? 535 00:28:37,380 --> 00:28:40,452 Terrible things. Oh, some threats. 536 00:28:40,540 --> 00:28:42,656 He's a horrible, cruel man. 537 00:28:42,740 --> 00:28:46,858 I blame Strangeways. Brutalised him. 538 00:28:46,940 --> 00:28:48,259 Why was he there? 539 00:28:48,340 --> 00:28:52,413 GBH with menaces. Six years. 540 00:28:52,500 --> 00:28:56,129 Very harsh. Fella's still got his other eye. 541 00:28:57,460 --> 00:29:01,976 Just hold me, Carl. Just hold me! 542 00:29:02,060 --> 00:29:06,099 When I say just hold me, I didn't mean just hold me! 543 00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:08,410 Do me, Carl! 544 00:29:09,620 --> 00:29:11,258 What? What is it? 545 00:29:11,340 --> 00:29:13,854 I can't. Not here. 546 00:29:13,940 --> 00:29:18,172 Don't be scared. You've seen the belly on him. You can outrun that porker until Christmas. 547 00:29:18,260 --> 00:29:20,649 - I'll get us a shag pad. - Yeah. 548 00:29:20,740 --> 00:29:22,458 Then we can be together. 549 00:29:22,540 --> 00:29:24,576 What? 550 00:29:24,660 --> 00:29:27,379 You're not gonna let me down. Are you? 551 00:29:29,780 --> 00:29:32,089 Just gonna get a cup of... 552 00:29:42,220 --> 00:29:43,573 Jesus! 553 00:29:43,660 --> 00:29:45,378 In case you wondered, you're dumped. 554 00:29:45,460 --> 00:29:45,812 Sorry. 555 00:29:45,900 --> 00:29:49,131 My dad's gonna tear your dick off and shove it in your mouth. 556 00:29:49,220 --> 00:29:53,896 Thought you liked me. Taking advantage of me like that. Scum! 557 00:29:58,260 --> 00:29:59,375 That's what you gotta do. 558 00:29:59,460 --> 00:30:00,495 What? 559 00:30:00,580 --> 00:30:01,899 Dump the geriatric weirdo. 560 00:30:01,980 --> 00:30:03,208 It's not that easy. 561 00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:07,737 Yeah, it is. Just tell her she's a dirty old perv. Chuck her. 562 00:30:07,820 --> 00:30:08,696 How? 563 00:30:08,780 --> 00:30:10,008 Tell her now. 564 00:30:16,380 --> 00:30:17,893 Is it always like this? 565 00:30:17,980 --> 00:30:19,208 Pretty much. 566 00:30:19,300 --> 00:30:22,770 I'll kill myself! I'll throw myself under a bin lorry! 567 00:30:22,860 --> 00:30:25,294 I'm not gonna lose ya, I won't! 568 00:30:25,380 --> 00:30:32,058 No, no, stop it! I wasn't gonna chuck ya, I wasn't. Honest. 569 00:30:32,140 --> 00:30:37,419 I was gonna suggest someone who might have a flat for us. 570 00:30:40,860 --> 00:30:43,499 Sweet, sweet boy. 571 00:30:48,060 --> 00:30:52,178 I'll stay at me sister's for now. Walk me there. 572 00:31:15,620 --> 00:31:17,531 - See ya later. - See ya later. 573 00:31:20,140 --> 00:31:22,779 Could you stop smiling? You're making me puke. 574 00:31:22,860 --> 00:31:25,579 You must have a fit straight friend I could do. 575 00:31:25,660 --> 00:31:27,616 I'm too busy shagging to meet friends. 576 00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:30,009 Shame. I remember that. 577 00:31:30,100 --> 00:31:32,091 It's like a distant memory. 578 00:31:32,180 --> 00:31:34,296 Think it's time I got back on the bike. 579 00:31:36,260 --> 00:31:37,739 You look good together. 580 00:31:37,820 --> 00:31:38,855 Piss off. 581 00:31:38,940 --> 00:31:43,013 I mean it! Not as good as I'd look with him, but! 582 00:31:46,620 --> 00:31:50,090 Debbie, have you got anything black that would fit me? 583 00:31:50,180 --> 00:31:52,740 Erm, no. Why don't you try Norma? 584 00:31:52,820 --> 00:31:55,971 Can hardly wear one of her T-shirts to a funeral. 585 00:31:56,060 --> 00:31:57,334 Who's died? 586 00:31:57,420 --> 00:32:03,131 Oh, sorry, love... it's your dad. 587 00:32:04,140 --> 00:32:09,373 - Dad?! - Oh, not that dad, Ian's dad. Gary. 588 00:32:09,460 --> 00:32:11,530 Shit. 589 00:32:11,620 --> 00:32:14,896 You didn't know him, though, did you? 590 00:32:16,020 --> 00:32:17,214 Uh... 591 00:32:17,300 --> 00:32:19,814 I didn't actually know you knew who he was. 592 00:32:19,900 --> 00:32:23,688 It was a chat I've been meaning to have together. 593 00:32:23,780 --> 00:32:25,452 I'm not going to get the chance to know him now. 594 00:32:25,540 --> 00:32:26,689 Mmmm. 595 00:32:26,780 --> 00:32:29,578 Do you go to the funera! Of everyone you've slept with? 596 00:32:29,660 --> 00:32:34,939 Debbie, that would be absurd. No, I gave him a clock and I want it back. 597 00:32:35,020 --> 00:32:38,251 It were me gran's. I always liked it. 598 00:32:38,340 --> 00:32:41,332 Probably worth enough to put up with the names from his wife. 599 00:32:41,420 --> 00:32:42,648 Do you want to come? 600 00:32:53,260 --> 00:32:56,809 See this?! You want to take a wild guess? 601 00:32:56,900 --> 00:33:00,734 I'll see to you, Carl! You're as good as dead! 602 00:33:00,820 --> 00:33:03,857 As good as fucking dead! 603 00:33:04,700 --> 00:33:10,855 There's your dead dad. Not much of a turnout, is it? 604 00:33:10,940 --> 00:33:12,851 That's alcoholics for you. 605 00:33:14,940 --> 00:33:15,929 Biggish family, mind. 606 00:33:16,020 --> 00:33:17,214 Yeah. 607 00:33:17,300 --> 00:33:18,779 Nothing compared to us, though. 608 00:33:18,860 --> 00:33:22,489 Just four lads with that blonde bitch. Panda eyes over there. 609 00:33:24,900 --> 00:33:27,414 Those four? 610 00:33:27,500 --> 00:33:30,617 Yeah. Well, you'd have to be related to touch her. 611 00:33:34,340 --> 00:33:35,329 What is it? 612 00:33:35,420 --> 00:33:37,809 Can't stay. 613 00:33:37,900 --> 00:33:39,492 - What about me clock? - Now! 614 00:33:39,580 --> 00:33:41,093 Oh, Ian! 615 00:33:45,140 --> 00:33:46,539 What a fuckin' mess. 616 00:33:46,620 --> 00:33:47,575 Too right. 617 00:33:47,660 --> 00:33:49,013 What's up with you? 618 00:33:49,100 --> 00:33:51,330 KNOCKING 619 00:33:51,420 --> 00:33:52,933 It's her! Don't answer! 620 00:33:53,020 --> 00:33:54,931 KNOCKING 621 00:33:55,020 --> 00:33:55,930 Don't answer! 622 00:33:56,020 --> 00:33:56,975 - Ian? 623 00:33:57,060 --> 00:33:59,210 - Ian, it's Sean. 624 00:33:59,300 --> 00:34:00,653 (Ian) Don't answer! 625 00:34:00,740 --> 00:34:01,934 First row? 626 00:34:02,020 --> 00:34:03,851 - Sean, come on! 627 00:34:03,940 --> 00:34:06,010 KNOCKING 628 00:34:06,100 --> 00:34:07,897 - Should I get that one? - No! 629 00:34:07,980 --> 00:34:10,540 Carl? Carl? It's me. 630 00:34:10,620 --> 00:34:13,532 I've got to speak to you, love. I've got tol 631 00:34:13,620 --> 00:34:15,736 - Ian, I need to talk to you. 632 00:34:15,820 --> 00:34:17,890 I'll see you later, love. 633 00:34:17,980 --> 00:34:19,333 - Fuck's sake! 634 00:34:19,420 --> 00:34:21,536 I'm guessing you haven't slept with your boyfriend's dad... 635 00:34:21,620 --> 00:34:23,212 Much worse than that, mate. 636 00:34:23,300 --> 00:34:26,929 You've been a twat and now you're paying for it. Lesson learnt. 637 00:34:27,020 --> 00:34:29,090 Not many free fucks about, are there? 638 00:34:29,180 --> 00:34:30,295 Up yours! 639 00:34:34,220 --> 00:34:36,609 - Don't! - He's gone. 640 00:34:38,420 --> 00:34:40,012 It'll work itself out. 641 00:34:40,100 --> 00:34:41,692 Bound to be a tiff when you're starting out. 642 00:34:48,340 --> 00:34:51,537 A tiff? That's what you fuckin' think, is it? 643 00:34:51,620 --> 00:34:54,214 Do you not think I'm a real fuckin' person? Don't think it matters 644 00:34:54,300 --> 00:34:55,892 cos it's two blokes? 645 00:34:55,980 --> 00:34:58,096 Cos it's... 646 00:35:00,980 --> 00:35:02,413 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 647 00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:04,933 Sorry? 648 00:35:08,500 --> 00:35:09,455 DOOR SLAMS 649 00:35:14,620 --> 00:35:15,575 All right? 650 00:35:16,660 --> 00:35:18,059 Yeah. 651 00:35:19,140 --> 00:35:21,370 Heard about your old fella. 652 00:35:24,460 --> 00:35:26,735 Yeah, well you're better off with me, son, 653 00:35:26,820 --> 00:35:29,334 cos from what I hear he was an hopeless piss-pot. 654 00:35:29,420 --> 00:35:31,490 Yeah, and you're quite good at it. 655 00:35:31,580 --> 00:35:35,016 That I am, son. That I am. 656 00:35:37,860 --> 00:35:40,135 What's going on? 657 00:35:47,100 --> 00:35:50,456 Kids get to a certain age, you'd rather not know what they're up to. 658 00:35:50,540 --> 00:35:52,974 I'll say. 659 00:35:53,060 --> 00:35:54,618 About two weeks old for me. 660 00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:05,650 Your dad... It was your dad who died - Gary? 661 00:36:05,740 --> 00:36:07,537 How did you know? 662 00:36:07,620 --> 00:36:11,169 Why didn't you stay? 663 00:36:11,260 --> 00:36:13,569 What? 664 00:36:15,180 --> 00:36:18,616 Old mate of my mum's. I were keeping her company. 665 00:36:18,700 --> 00:36:21,260 I didn't know it were your... 666 00:36:21,340 --> 00:36:25,413 I saw you. I thought you'd think I was some stalker weirdo. 667 00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:27,092 It was really nice to see you. 668 00:36:27,180 --> 00:36:29,171 It meant a lot. 669 00:36:29,260 --> 00:36:32,093 Why didn't you tell me your dad had died? 670 00:36:32,180 --> 00:36:33,772 He's... 671 00:36:33,860 --> 00:36:36,977 Well, he'd... been ill for a while. 672 00:36:37,060 --> 00:36:40,689 I got the call here - you know, the crisis? 673 00:36:40,780 --> 00:36:44,136 It wasn't my brother, it was him. 674 00:36:44,220 --> 00:36:48,259 I don't know, it just seemed a turn-off. We'd only just met and... 675 00:36:48,340 --> 00:36:52,049 it was all going... I didn't even like him. 676 00:36:52,140 --> 00:36:53,539 He was a joke. 677 00:36:53,620 --> 00:36:55,690 A drunk. 678 00:36:55,780 --> 00:36:58,977 Cruel, absent loser. 679 00:37:02,100 --> 00:37:04,694 I don't know. But your dad's your dad. 680 00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:09,011 Hey... 681 00:37:09,100 --> 00:37:12,058 Hey, I'm the one who should be upset. You're looking after me. 682 00:37:12,140 --> 00:37:13,573 Yeah. 683 00:37:13,660 --> 00:37:15,093 Come here. 684 00:37:42,060 --> 00:37:45,132 All right, speak to the bloke. Tell him to take her back. 685 00:37:45,220 --> 00:37:49,293 Very sorry, big mistake, won't happen again. All that bollocks. 686 00:37:49,380 --> 00:37:51,336 He's gonna cut my balls off. 687 00:37:51,420 --> 00:37:53,058 Well meet him somewhere public. 688 00:37:53,140 --> 00:37:55,893 The Jockey. What's he gonna do in there? 689 00:37:57,860 --> 00:37:59,293 Shit! 690 00:38:06,900 --> 00:38:10,256 He's not here. He works at Help the Aged. You should try him there. 691 00:38:10,340 --> 00:38:12,092 Very funny. 692 00:38:12,180 --> 00:38:16,093 Some day you will know our love is real. I will find him. 693 00:38:42,340 --> 00:38:43,773 Where's the fire? 694 00:38:45,540 --> 00:38:49,419 Thanks. Me dad and that. It's important having someone... 695 00:38:52,140 --> 00:38:53,539 I haven't done anything. 696 00:38:53,620 --> 00:38:55,497 Having someone there for me. 697 00:38:55,580 --> 00:38:57,411 You're not just great sex, Ian. 698 00:38:59,220 --> 00:39:00,573 I love you. 699 00:39:06,380 --> 00:39:07,779 I don't love you. 700 00:39:12,260 --> 00:39:13,534 That's all right. 701 00:39:13,620 --> 00:39:16,180 I'm emotional. 702 00:39:16,260 --> 00:39:17,454 Blabbermouth. 703 00:39:19,060 --> 00:39:21,893 I don't wanna carry on seeing you. 704 00:39:21,980 --> 00:39:23,971 What? 705 00:39:24,060 --> 00:39:25,493 What, you're chucking me? 706 00:39:27,300 --> 00:39:29,370 My dad's just died. 707 00:39:30,980 --> 00:39:32,652 I don't believe you. 708 00:39:32,740 --> 00:39:34,253 You're not that fuckin' cruel. 709 00:39:34,340 --> 00:39:38,253 We're getting on. We're solid. I know we are. 710 00:39:38,340 --> 00:39:41,252 What is it? There's something else? 711 00:39:42,740 --> 00:39:43,695 No... 712 00:39:43,780 --> 00:39:45,850 Yes, there is. 713 00:39:45,940 --> 00:39:48,056 What is it, Ian? Tell me. 714 00:39:48,140 --> 00:39:50,893 Look, we agreed... If I've pissed you off... 715 00:39:55,980 --> 00:39:58,210 My mum... 716 00:39:58,300 --> 00:40:00,291 Monica Gallagher. 717 00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:04,889 She wasn't an old mate of your dad's. 718 00:40:04,980 --> 00:40:10,532 She got pregnant by him. We're brothers. 719 00:40:12,660 --> 00:40:13,615 Fuck off. 720 00:40:18,260 --> 00:40:20,057 What about the waster, Frank? 721 00:40:20,140 --> 00:40:21,653 He's my dad. 722 00:40:23,260 --> 00:40:26,138 But my real dad was Gary. 723 00:40:46,700 --> 00:40:53,219 Look, I know that this hasn't worked out and I'm sorry. 724 00:40:53,300 --> 00:40:55,131 Really. 725 00:40:55,220 --> 00:40:56,778 I didn't mean to... 726 00:40:56,860 --> 00:40:58,054 - Take the piss out of me? 727 00:40:58,140 --> 00:41:00,335 My family, 728 00:41:00,420 --> 00:41:02,297 my whole fuckin' existence. 729 00:41:02,380 --> 00:41:05,577 No, I didn't. I just think we need to be straight with each other. 730 00:41:05,660 --> 00:41:08,220 I love that woman. 731 00:41:08,300 --> 00:41:11,610 I love the very bones of her. I can't... 732 00:41:11,700 --> 00:41:14,772 Life... Life's unimaginable without her. 733 00:41:16,420 --> 00:41:17,899 I can't see it. 734 00:41:17,980 --> 00:41:19,811 I just can't. I don't want her. 735 00:41:19,900 --> 00:41:23,449 I want you to take her back. She's yours. Just have her. 736 00:41:25,220 --> 00:41:27,654 So you'll chuck her then, 737 00:41:27,740 --> 00:41:29,537 just like that? 738 00:41:29,620 --> 00:41:34,091 Like she was a piece of fuckin' rubbish. 739 00:41:36,340 --> 00:41:39,218 I can't get my head around it. 740 00:41:39,300 --> 00:41:40,733 We're brothers. 741 00:41:44,500 --> 00:41:46,456 I think I don't wanna stop seeing you. 742 00:41:46,540 --> 00:41:47,655 We're related. 743 00:41:47,740 --> 00:41:50,618 Yeah, but does it matter? Does it have to be incest? 744 00:41:50,700 --> 00:41:53,897 That stuffs for straights, to stop them having daft kids. 745 00:41:53,980 --> 00:41:55,049 We're not breeders. 746 00:41:55,140 --> 00:41:57,449 I think... 747 00:41:57,540 --> 00:42:02,250 I think we know it does. I feel completely different. 748 00:42:02,340 --> 00:42:04,774 You do too. 749 00:42:04,860 --> 00:42:07,818 Nobody knows. We could carry on. 750 00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:10,050 We just had sex, for God's sake. 751 00:42:11,660 --> 00:42:14,458 It still works. 752 00:42:14,540 --> 00:42:16,132 No, it doesn't. 753 00:42:16,220 --> 00:42:17,414 We know. 754 00:42:19,380 --> 00:42:21,769 It's over. 755 00:42:27,740 --> 00:42:29,696 Do you want a drink or something? 756 00:42:31,300 --> 00:42:33,768 We didn't want it to turn out like this. 757 00:42:33,860 --> 00:42:37,375 So what's it going to be this time then? Both eyes? 758 00:42:38,540 --> 00:42:39,734 Or do I get you back? 759 00:42:39,820 --> 00:42:41,412 It's too late. 760 00:42:41,500 --> 00:42:44,412 No, it's not. It's not too late. 761 00:42:44,500 --> 00:42:45,455 This? 762 00:42:47,660 --> 00:42:49,730 Give me one good reason why I shouldn't. 763 00:42:49,820 --> 00:42:51,538 I'm 16. 764 00:42:52,700 --> 00:42:54,338 I'm just randy. 765 00:42:57,980 --> 00:43:01,256 Take me back or you're gonna see brains. 766 00:43:01,340 --> 00:43:03,171 Dave, don't. 767 00:43:05,300 --> 00:43:07,097 - (Dave, put the gun down). 768 00:43:07,180 --> 00:43:10,058 - Bastard! - Oh, for Christ's sake, don't! 769 00:43:10,140 --> 00:43:11,368 Leave it, Shane! 770 00:43:12,260 --> 00:43:13,534 Let's have you! 771 00:43:16,100 --> 00:43:17,249 Dave! 772 00:43:17,340 --> 00:43:19,808 What the fuck was that? You just fuckin' shot us? 773 00:43:19,900 --> 00:43:24,052 Dave! It was loaded! Why did you load it? 774 00:43:24,140 --> 00:43:26,495 I meant it, Teresa. 775 00:43:29,300 --> 00:43:31,370 It was really loaded. 776 00:43:31,460 --> 00:43:34,611 That's how much he needed me. 777 00:43:34,700 --> 00:43:38,579 I'm sorry, Carl. But how could I leave a man who would do that for his woman? 778 00:43:38,660 --> 00:43:40,298 So what was I? 779 00:43:40,380 --> 00:43:41,938 I'm sorry, love. 780 00:43:42,020 --> 00:43:44,295 It's better we finish now. 781 00:43:44,380 --> 00:43:46,211 Cos he needs me 782 00:43:46,300 --> 00:43:48,575 and I have to go back. 783 00:43:48,660 --> 00:43:50,093 Always. 784 00:43:53,780 --> 00:43:58,217 I'll never forget you but we're locked together, me and him. 785 00:43:58,300 --> 00:43:59,733 It's for life. 786 00:44:01,100 --> 00:44:02,055 Sorry. 787 00:44:02,140 --> 00:44:05,098 You used me to get your fuckin' kicks? 788 00:44:07,180 --> 00:44:08,852 When you get married, 789 00:44:08,940 --> 00:44:10,498 you'll understand. 790 00:44:10,580 --> 00:44:12,536 Fuck that. Youse two deserve each other. 791 00:44:12,620 --> 00:44:15,817 No wonder your daughter's a fucked up nut job. 792 00:44:18,780 --> 00:44:21,089 (Lillian) 'Hilda Ogden never cried when Stan died. 793 00:44:21,180 --> 00:44:24,092 'Not until she got home, found a pair of his glasses 794 00:44:24,180 --> 00:44:26,489 'on the sideboard. Set her right off. 795 00:44:29,060 --> 00:44:31,290 'I understood that when I got widowed. 796 00:44:33,140 --> 00:44:37,611 'All over the house, little ghosts waiting to jump out. 797 00:44:37,700 --> 00:44:40,737 'They remind you of the things you're not going to share.' 798 00:44:40,820 --> 00:44:42,492 Did he just try and shoot you? 799 00:44:42,580 --> 00:44:44,536 No. 800 00:44:44,620 --> 00:44:47,214 Showing off to his wife, apparently. 801 00:44:48,820 --> 00:44:51,015 So what's happened to you two? 802 00:44:51,100 --> 00:44:54,012 You split up already? 803 00:44:54,100 --> 00:44:55,010 Why? 804 00:44:55,100 --> 00:44:57,375 You don't wanna know. 805 00:44:57,460 --> 00:44:59,132 'When you're with someone, 806 00:44:59,220 --> 00:45:03,179 'there's a future, a present, something to look forward to. 807 00:45:03,260 --> 00:45:05,535 'Then they've gone and there's nothing in front. 808 00:45:05,620 --> 00:45:07,417 'It's all back. 809 00:45:07,500 --> 00:45:12,051 'Memories, regrets... and it never stops.' 810 00:45:12,140 --> 00:45:15,018 We had the same dad. 811 00:45:15,100 --> 00:45:16,135 We're brothers. 812 00:45:16,220 --> 00:45:18,814 Half brothers. 813 00:45:18,900 --> 00:45:20,970 Are we half brothers? 814 00:45:21,060 --> 00:45:23,972 Don't worry, you're safe. Dick! 815 00:45:24,740 --> 00:45:26,173 You muppet! 816 00:46:10,300 --> 00:46:11,699 Oi, look out! 817 00:46:11,749 --> 00:46:16,299 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0